When I travel from Europe to the U.S., I always enjoy the first couple of nights where I get tired early and wake up in the early morning without an alarm clock. But somehow my body always settles back into it’s natural rhythm of wanting to stay up late. What is up with that? No matter the time zone, when it comes to adjusting to a daily rhythm, I naturally want to stay up late and struggle with an early bedtime. I really have to be strict about my schedule and the sometimes it can even feel like I’ve turned around to be an early sleeper, but as soon as I’m not forcing the early bedtime, I’m right back to where I started.
The last couple of nights I’ve had an extra hard time falling asleep. I toss and turn and my body and mind are tired but somehow just not tired enough to shut off for the day. It makes me long for the days right after I returned where I would snooze off early and wake up early and well rested. I don’t think I can blame it all on my night owl DNA, though. When I close my eyes, a confetti canon of thoughts go off in my brain. It’s a time of transition around here. I’m back from my trip, I’m taking my driving test this week, we’re almost done with the house and there’s no more being in limbo between Copenhagen and here. I’m here now, a resident, and not in processing anymore. The daily life and routine that for a long time was held back by practical things like the fact that I didn’t have a work permit or that my immigration was in processing is now so close within reach. And all of the thoughts about my day to day life and my future that could be pushed away with the excuse that it wasn’t relevant at the time. But now, the time is now! And it is so exciting and so scary all at the same time. The swarm of thoughts that buzzes throug my mind about the present and the future and also about what we should eat for dinner tomorrow and if sea horses really do hold on to each other with their tails (they do, FIY) can probably be attributed to just that. That it is really scary to not have anymore excuses or hold ups where I can park my thoughts because there are no more circumstances to hide behind. It’s time to dare and it is time to dream. And now I hope I can literally go do that.
Good night! (I hope!)