No plans, but hopes and dreams

 

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(here)

The holidays kind of just went and passed this year. Or last year, technically, I guess. I suppose that makes the point.

And as always it’s always a little bittersweet when the holidays and good times end but this year january has so many exiting things in store that it felt good to switch up gears and get into work-mode. There’s something so cliche about this special feeling of motivation and optimism that the new year brings around.

We’re almost about to move so the sense of the beginning of a new chapter is strong! 2015 was challenging in all kinds of ways but thinking about just how much change and transition there has been I feel very accomplished even most of the year I’ve had the feeling off constantly playing catch up with everything and always being behind.

This is the first time (!) since 2012 we are moving in together and planning to stay there for more than a year. And where the travel activity is going to be way less and with no big events line up. For a while there it felt hectic and overwhelming in a way that I didn’t even realize how hectic until later. But looking back, I’ve also learned that a lot of the things I worry about mostly work out on their own in time so not knowing the answer all of the time doesn’t require panic. Sort of one long lesson in the fact that everything is going to be OK. And while moving permanently, renting out my apartment in Copenhagen and arriving in Detroit without a one way ticket and no set departure date for the first time relieved enormous amounts of stress, I wasn’t really prepared for what the difference it would make to change my status from visitor to resident. Or how it would affect my sense of identity. I found myself realizing that I had underestimated the transition it would be here without any plans to leave, even though I dreaded it every time I had to leave before. The drive to the airport still gives me a knot in my stomach even when we go to travel together. And while my relation to Detroit still would be categorized as ‘complicated’ after the winter months where it mostly felt like it was gobbling me up and spitting me back out (oh, the three times I fell and hit my head on the concrete of the icy sidewalk didn’t really make the case better), it was also the year where the feeling of estrangement and a peculiar sense of distance from everything slowly diminished and instead replaced by a growing feeling of home. And even though the surreal groggyness of jet lag disappeared after the first few days, it took nearly a year before it felt like my mind caught up with my body and I sort of felt like I had landed.

One time I met a guy who introduced himself as ‘No plans, but dreams’. And I thought it was really silly at the time, something that could potentially be related to the fact that he was covered in mud and wearing a loin cloth.  And while I have sort of hippie tendencies myself it was still a little weird. But anyhow, I’ve found myself thinking about it the last couple of days as I’ve thought about new beginnings and resolutions and the new year. No plans, but hopes and dreams. If the last couple of years has shown me anything it is that

And while I think new year resolutions are ridiculous as a concept I’ve found myself thinking about things I want to focus on in order in the new year. Getting better at taking breaks. Not when everything is done, because really, when has that ever happened? Trying to keep making it happen and not learning from experience is just stupid. It’s probably something I continuously will have to remind myself of but taking little breaks during the day and being better to enjoy it is on the priority list!

So relax and enjoy it.

Don’t worry.

And don’t sweat the small stuff.

 

The very happiest New Year to you!

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